Recently, I was speaking with a senior leader who was exhausted by how … effortful everything felt. 

She wasn’t underperforming. In fact, by every measurable standard, she was doing well. Her team delivered. Her stakeholders were satisfied. On paper, things looked fine. 

But she described her days as “heavy”. Conversations felt tense. Decisions felt harder than they should. She was pushing, persuading, explaining – constantly. 

As we unpacked it, it became clear she didn’t need a new strategy. It wasn’t her doing that was holding her back. It was how she was being at work. 

Because leadership doesn’t begin with action. It begins with the energy you bring into the action. 

And that energy shapes far more than most leaders realise. 

The invisible layer shaping your leadership

You can think of it as your presence, or your internal frequency if you tend towards the woo (like me). I often call it your energy bubble – the invisible field around you that others feel long before they consciously register it. 

I’m sure you’ve experienced it, too. When you’ve walked into a room and instantly sensed tension, even though no one had said a word. Or that first impression you get when you welcome a candidate in for an interview. Or best of all, when you’ve sat opposite a leader who felt grounded and steady – and your nervous system settled as a result. 

That’s not strategy. That’s state. 

Your internal energy influences how you interpret events, how you respond under pressure, how open you are to ideas, and how others experience you. It determines whether you show up contracted and guarded, or calm and clear. Whether you see obstacles everywhere, or possibilities that can be worked through. 

And importantly, it determines which opportunities you even notice. 

When you are overwhelmed, defensive, or operating from scarcity, your world narrows. Your brain goes into protection mode. You react rather than respond. You become more focused on managing risk than creating possibility. 

On the other hand, when you are grounded, intentional, and open, your field of vision expands. You see connections. You notice openings. You trust your judgement. You invite collaboration rather than brace for conflict.  

To be clear, I’m not talking about pretending everything is positive. It’s about consciously choosing to bring the energy and frame of mind that allows you to lead well. 

When hard work becomes the wrong solution

I see this pattern often with high-achieving women. When something feels off, the instinct is to increase effort. Put in more hours. Prepare more thoroughly. Be more available. Control more variables. 

It’s an understandable reflex. You’ve been rewarded for effort your entire career. 

But if underneath all of that you’re operating from fear, defensiveness or frustration, that extra effort can tip you into burnout rather than breakthrough. 

You can’t grind your way into alignment. 

Sometimes the shift that’s required isn’t in your actions at all. It’s internal.

Becoming conscious of what you’re carrying

So how do we bring this from an abstract concept into the practical? 

It begins with noticing. 

How do you show up when you’re at your best?  

When I posed this question in a recent session with our The Leadership Connection members, women told me they were calm. Decisive. Open. Considered in their speech. Clear in their thinking. 

And how do you show up when you’re not?  

You might be rushed. Reactive. Slightly sharp. Over-explaining. Retreating. 

There’s no judgement in that awareness. You’re simply collecting information. 

From there, the next question becomes: what is currently filling your bubble? 

Is it comparison? Pressure? A difficult conversation you’re replaying in your head? A sense of being overlooked? 

Or is it trust? Curiosity? A belief that even if something is challenging, it’s workable? 

 The more conscious you become of what you’re carrying, the more choice you have about what stays and where there might be work to do.

Alignment creates reliability 

When your internal energy aligns with what you’re trying to create – when the way you feel matches the way you’re leading – your results become more reliable, and it creates a steadiness that other’s respond to. You no longer need to over-perform to compensate. You don’t need to force authority. You don’t need to micromanage every outcome. 

Opportunities become easier to spot, because you’re grounded, your mind is quieter, and you can feel what’s in alignment. Conversations flow differently. Your influence deepens. 

It doesn’t mean everything is effortless. But it means you’re no longer fighting yourself while also trying to lead others. 

And for many mid-life women, that shift – from constant pushing to grounded alignment – is what moves them from survival mode into genuine impact. 

If you’ve been feeling like you’re doing all the right things but still not quite getting the traction you want, it may not be your strategy that needs attention. 

It might simply be time to look at what’s in your bubble.