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Our Words Can Empower Us … Or … Disempower Us

Our Words Can Empower Us … Or … Disempower Us

Imagine if by focusing in on changing just a couple of words in your every day communications with your team, colleagues and customers, you could have more influence, impact and achieve improved results.  

The fact of the matter is … you can! 

From the moment we learn to talk, we influence our environment, those around us and our outcomes through the power of our words.  We use words to express our joy, fear, happiness, anger, frustrations and our deepest desires. The words we use have the power to inspire and motivate or discourage and debilitate.

So let me make a little confession here… I am a bit of a stickler for the words we use.  Not because I am any sort of wordsmith or have a Masters in English Literature, but because I have seen the impact our choice of words has on the effectiveness of our communication and on how we feel

Most of us, most of the time are not aware of the words we use. I have more than once interrupted a conversation with a client to highlight disempowering language and provide guidance to find a more empowering way to express the thought or idea. 

One client put it most eloquently for me.  Changing the words she uses on a regularly basics (and eliminating others) has “changed the colour of my world.”  The way she expresses herself now is empowering and inclusive.  She has improved her interactions with her team. Her improved communication skills and relationships have contributed to recent outstanding sales results.

Our gift of language is a bit like breathing … most of the time what we say to ourselves and to others is unconscious and we are completely oblivious to how our words affect us. 

Many of the words we use come with an emotional charge.  

When we use words stacked with negative emotions we trigger a physiological flight or fight response.  This response was designed to help us flee from the scary wild beast… not manage the everyday trials and tribulations of the modern work environment. 

Here are 5 words that come with an emotional charge and are worth avoiding.  Eliminate these words… and notice the difference in how you feel and the response you receive from those around you. 

1. I’m Overwhelmed – Think for a moment how you feel when you say something like “I feel overwhelmed.”  There is a sense of hopelessness and impossibility. 

Now imagine replacing the word overwhelmed with “I’m a bit busy” or “I have a challenging schedule” or “I am prioritising a heavy work load right now.”  The energy around the statement is lighter and it is filled with more possibly. 

2.  I’m Angry – To say you are “angry” about a situation such as an error made by one of your team members or a missed timeline on a project brings with it an emotional intensity.  Sometimes it is warranted and productive but most of the time to language the emotion we are feeling as anger will only heighten the emotion and could, in fact, intensify the situation.

Now imagine changing the description of your emotion to “being annoyed”, “disappointed” or “frustrated.”  It doesn’t mean you don’t feel angry but by changing the word you will minimise the intensity of the situation, giving you more chance of achieving an amicable resolution.

3. It’s Hard – When we say something is hard, it gives the impression that it is almost impossible to achieve.  When we replace it with the word “challenging” it gives the task or situation a greater sense of possibility and even a sense of excitement. 

4. I’ll Try – To try to do something presupposes failure and gives a sense of an attempt only and, in my view, is a bit of cop out! In the words of Yoda “Do or not do. There is no try.”  

5. I’m OK – when someone asks you how are you doing, instead of saying “fine” or “OK”, ramp up the emotional dial and say something like “I feel fabulous” or “I’m sensational!”  As simplistic as this sounds, it creates a new pattern in your neurology and you will receive a quick injection of happy hormones. 

Now it is your turn.  What words do you use on a consistent basis which are disempowering or negatively impact your emotions? 

If you don’t like the results you are getting, take a look at the words you are using and choose to be more selective.  Choose to select words that empower you and engage others.  Break old patterns and create new resourceful patterns that help you manage your emotions and have you noticed as a powerful communicator.

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Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

The Power Of Owning Your Space

The Power Of Owning Your Space

One of the most powerful lessons for all leaders is to embrace the importance of owning your space.  

When you own your space, you say to the world that you belong, you believe in your value and you give yourself every opportunity to shine, allowing others to form a positive impression of you. 

When you fail to own your space, you are unconsciously letting the world, your team and colleagues know that you lack confidence, give the impression that you do not matter and that your opinion is not worthy.

So what does it mean to own your space? 

It is about walking into a room, a meeting or around the office with certainty, with a magic magnetic aura and a presence where people notice you and admire your energy.  It is often intangible but when you see it you will know it.

When it is missing, you are definitely doing yourself a disservice.  You may go unnoticed or, even worse, people may form a less than positive impression of you.  It is disempowering and your ability to have influence and the impact you know you can, will be reduced.   

If you are to be noticed, taken seriously and seen as worthy, it all starts with setting the impression and owning your space… both physically and metaphorically. 

Have you ever noticed someone who appears to be doing everything they can to take up as little space as possible?  They appear to shrink and tuck themselves into the corners of the room as if hoping they will not be noticed. 

The simple step of striking a “powerful pose” where you walk tall, stand with intent, or sit leaning into a conversation can be the difference between being taken seriously or not.  

On trip to China a few years ago with eight extraordinary women, the power of “Owning Your Space” became the motto of our travels.

Picture this… a decidedly scruffy and a somewhat grubby bunch of tourists. With no time to return to our hotel to freshen up after an amazing day walking the Great Wall of China, we arrived at one of Beijing’s most exclusive and highly awarded restaurants for some much anticipated Peking Duck.  To our horror the other diners were arriving dressed to the 9’s and being dropped off in their chauffeur-driven Porches, Audi’s and Mercedes! 

In that moment we had a choice…  to walk away and miss this rare experience of Peking Duck in the old city of Peking, to shrink in size and hope that no one would notice us as we tiptoed into the restaurant or to step into this magnificent restaurant Owning Our Space, being proud of who we were and enter with the energy of belonging. 

The power of choosing the latter was incredible! We did belong and the Peking Duck experience can be best described in one word … WOW!  We owned our space and we were richly rewarded for it. 

So the question is… “Do you own your space?”

Here are some ways you can step into Owning Your Space.

1.  Make the decision that you belong.  Your dynamic leadership presence comes from a decision that you are worthy as a leader and that you belong at the decision-making table.  Make the decision today to believe that you belong and that your opinion matters.  When you believe in you… it is so much easier for others to believe in you and want to follow your leadership. 

2.  Don’t judge yourself against others.  I think many of us are guilty of judging ourselves against others from time to time… and from my experience, it rarely ends well.   We are unique and bring with us our very own set of skills, abilities and characteristics.  Allow what is special about you to shine, grow and became your “special sauce.” Nurture your strengths and bring the best of you to your role as a leader.

3.  Develop your leadership presence.  Practice bringing your power pose to those situations when you don’t yet feel particularly strong.  No more hiding in the shadows or sitting as far away from the real decision makers in meetings.  Enter each situation with the belief that you belong and with the sense of positive energy.  How you feel on the inside will radiate powerfully on the outside.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

7 Ways To Increase Your Confidence At Work

7 Ways To Increase Your Confidence At Work

Is your lack of confidence and self belief killing your opportunities at work? 

Having confidence in yourself, your abilities and your capabilities to excel in your work matters.  Your level of confidence can mean the difference between getting stuck in a job year after year or getting noticed for new and exciting opportunities, promotions or positions.

Confidence is a very attractive quality.   When we exude confidence, we naturally attract others.  People want to listen to what we have to say, they follow our lead and we are more able to positively influence outcomes.

Having confidence will not only help you to be noticed for the good work you do, you are more likely to take on new and challenging projects allowing you to grow your skills and experience.

Confidence is a fundamental foundation of your role as a leader.  You can not excel as a leader without it.  Your team look to you for a sense of certainty and strong leadership. You must have confidence in your ability to lead your team, to communicate effectively, to make decisions and to take action.  Without it, your job as a leader will be a constant struggle.

I hear all too often from the women I work with that their number one challenge is their lack of confidence in their abilities as a leader.  When they overcome their own negative thoughts and self doubt … their role as a leader suddenly seems easier and much more fun.

There are a few simple tricks that can boost your confidence at work, whether you are suffering from a momentary loss of confidence or if self doubt has been a long term companion.

Give these strategies a go and notice the difference in how you feel and what you can achieve!

1.  Delete negative self talk.  Nothing brings you down quite like the inner monologue constantly telling you that you’re not good enough.  Take a moment to listen to what your inner critic is saying.  Is it supporting you or is it constantly dragging you down?  Make a commitment to yourself to no longer let your inner critic run the show!

2.  Fake it till you make it. Confidence is all about perception.  Acting confidently is the first step to feeling confident.  In the process of convincing others, you may actually convince yourself.

3.  Take courageous action.  Accomplishing things you don’t think possible is a sure fire way to boost your confidence. So say yes to that promotion, job opportunity, project or task outside your comfort zone … knowing that your confidence will only grow through taking courageous action.

As a mentor has said to me often, say yes and then work out how.  And you know what … It is through saying yes and working out how that my skills, knowledge and confidence have grown.

4.  Identify your strengths and capitalise on them. One of the best ways to build confidence is to get clear on what you are good at and find ways of integrating more of those into the work you do every day.  When you focus on your strengths, you will notice that you are more energised, engaged, motivated and self assured.

5.  Enjoy Your Job.  Look around any workplace and you will notice those who enjoy their job stand out.  They are engaged, positive, happy to contribute, proactive and cheerful. They are good to be around and have on the team.  When we enjoy our job we give more, contribute more and take more courageous action.  And with it our confidence grows.

6.  Don’t Undermine Yourself.  So often when we feel a crisis of confidence it is obvious to others, in our body language, in our words and in our actions.

When you shift how you hold yourself physically (head up, standing tall, shoulders back and relaxed) it can have an immediate impact on how you feel about yourself.  So step forward and hold yourself powerfully.  Find your power pose and go after what you want.

Similarly, choose your words wisely.  Never talk yourself down.  (Ladies… this is one we are particularly bad with when we doubt our abilities.)

7.  Look the part.  Dress for success.  The way we present ourselves impacts how we feel and how others perceive us. When we feel great about the image we are projecting, we automatically give off a sense of confidence in who we are and what we do.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Are You Settling For Less?

Are You Settling For Less?

Have you ever found yourself going through the motions at work, where one year rolls into the next and you find yourself settling for less than you are capable of… just getting through the day, month or even the year?

Some years ago this was my lot in life.  I was settling for much less than I was capable of or deserved in my life.  I had found myself in a job I no longer enjoyed.  I was not being challenged or fulfilled and I knew with certainty that I had so much more to give. 

So why did I stay?  Like so many of us, I was lured by the desire to feel comfortable.  To stay with the devil I knew rather than taking the leap of faith into the unknown. The comfort and certainty of the role that was making me miserable somehow had a hold over me.

Fear was holding me back.  Fear of the unknown, fear of not being good enough, fear of being disconnected from people with who I really enjoyed working.  I had been firmly planted well within my comfort zone for too long and just couldn’t see my way out. 

Ok … so I knew I needed to do something different.  I had talked about it.  I had complained to friends and family that I was bored and unmotivated.  I had toyed with the idea of all sorts of different options… but I had done nothing.  Procrastination was my friend. 

Until enough was enough!

It dawned on me that my life was slipping by and I was just a passenger being taken for a ride.  I was living in the land of mediocre and if I wanted that to change … it was up to me.  So change I did and, as they say, the rest is history. 

The number one thing I learnt was that to truly experience life in all its glory, we need to consistently step outside our comfort zone.  

Yes – it is scary. Yes – it is uncomfortable. But the best things in life happen outside your comfort zone. 

The benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone

1. Experience More Happiness:  We seem to be on a constant mission to experience happiness. When we do something new, unfamiliar or achieve something for the first time, we are flooded with feelings of joy and happiness.  Psychologist Tim Pychyl saysWe experience the strongest positive emotional response when we make progress on our most difficult goals.” 

2. Experience More Growth: The people who grow the most are those who consistently put themselves in situations where they are outside their comfort zone. Growth happens when we step outside what is familiar.  When we fail to grow we find ourselves stuck, spinning our wheels, feeling uninspired and unexcited about life.

3. Conquer Fear:  Fear holds us back.  It is as simple as that. It stops us from achieving our potential, from doing what we really want in life and keeps us small.  By consistently stepping outside our comfort zone we become stronger, more resilient and more willing to try new things. 

4. Inspire Others:  To lead, inspire and influence others takes courageous action outside our comfort zone.  People want to follow where others have already been, to model their success and achievement.  Your action outside of your comfort zone will undoubtably influence or inspire others. 

If you want to experience a year that is different from the last, then you will need to do something different, step outside your comfort zone and build your capacity to act with courage.  Are you willing to do that?

“There is no passion to be found in playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” (Nelson Mandela)

Ask yourself:

  • Are you settling for less?
  • Are you “settling” and living well within your comfort zone?
  • What would it feel like to achieve what you know you are capable of?

Isn’t it time to stop settling for less?  You are good enough, capable enough and you do have what it takes.  Life is too short to settle. Go out and step beyond your comfort zone.  I can assure you it will be worth the initial discomfort

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

How Are You Telling The Story Of Your Year?

How Are You Telling The Story Of Your Year?

What is the story of your year?  As we near the end of the year and we slip into reflection mode, I am wondering what stories you are telling yourself and others about the year that was. 

Are you focused on what has gone well, the wins you have had, what you have achieved, how you have contributed and the connections you have grown and maintained?  Are you telling the stories of the experiences and the snippets from the year that have made you smile, laugh and given you moments of joy?

Or, are you focused on the things you haven’t achieved, the things you have been unable to control or influence, the disappointments, setbacks and struggles and the relationships you haven’t nurtured or the losses you have endured?

The stories you tell others and yourself create your reality.  They shape who you are now and who you will be tomorrow.  They influence your feelings, emotions and how you approach each day.  They shape how you respond to each situation that life throws your way and how others respond to you.

You can transform your own life by changing your stories and shifting your focus. 

I experienced my own transformation several years ago when I shifted the spotlight away from what was not going well, from what I could not control and from the disappointments in my life… to shining a light onto the brighter things that had always been there but I had failed to pay attention too.

That is not to say that we should ignore the disappointments, challenges and struggles in our life, for they all leave clues that must be given attention if we are to achieve the life we want.  Many of our stories have hidden within them our excuses for why we didn’t have the year that we had hoped for. 

These excuses are just that… excuses.  They help us to justify our lot in life but they do nothing to create a different outcome.

More than anything, our stories can keep us stuck, hold us back and keep us from experiencing happiness and fulfilment in our career and all parts of our life.

Changing my story took time, practice and persistence.  But, importantly, it changed my reality.  It has allowed me to create a business I never thought possible, develop a strong, loving, intimate relationship that had eluded me for so long and to become healthier than I have been in years.  

We all have the potential to create change and to design the story of our life.  If you are thinking that this year was ok but nothing to get excited about … then lets start creating a more exciting story for next year. 

Life is too short to merely survive and get by!

As we near the end of the year, ask yourself:

 1.  Are the stories you are telling about the year serving and supporting you or are they dragging you down? 

2.  Is your focus on what has been positive about the year or are you giving more time and energy to what has not been so great?

3.  Are your excuses (I’m too busy, I’m not experienced enough, I’m just a mum, I’m not good enough) holding you back or keeping you stuck?

With the new year approaching, now is the perfect time to take stock and commit to tweaking the way you approach your career and each part of your life.  By taking accountability for creating change, you have the potential to achieving the type of success you desire.

What stories and excuses are holding you back?  What are you going to do differently in the new year?

If you want to be telling a different story of your year next year… then now is the time to start creating a new story for yourself.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Building Resilience To Thrive During Times Of Stress And Pressure At Work

Building Resilience To Thrive During Times Of Stress And Pressure At Work

Resilience is a pre-requisite for surviving the fast paced, demanding and ever changing work environment.  In our modern world of highly stressful roles, where the pressure to perform is relentless and the resources are diminishing, we need to be equipped to ride out the difficult times and bounce back from setbacks. 

To be resilient means having the capacity to respond to the day to day pressures of our job and the demands of our daily life.

It means responding to change in a calm, optimistic manner.  It’s the ability to absorb the hard knocks, dust yourself off and keep going when the going gets tough.  It is being able to remain confident and maintain your self belief in the face of perceived failure. 

Having resilience creates security in a constantly changing world. 

At work, people with lower levels of resilience tend to become disengaged, unproductive and struggle with low self esteem during periods of pressure, stress and change.  They are more prone to illness and emotional distress often resulting in time off work.

Some years ago I experienced first hand the effects of diminished resilience.  As is so very common in the ever changing corporate environment, I found myself in the midst of a corporate take over.  Everything about my working environment and my role changed… and I didn’t cope with it very well. 

I failed to see the opportunities in the change or to focus on what I could control or influence.  I felt overwhelmed and angry and my confidence in my abilities plummeted.

Worst of all, my health suffered. I was living in a fog, with a constant feeling like I was onto my third glass of bubbles.  At first that might sound entertaining… but it was exhausting, to the point of requiring time off work and medical investigations to diagnose the cause of my strange symptoms (and rule out some frightening possibilities).

This experience made me wonder, is it possible to boost our resilience? 

The good news is – YES we can learn to boost our ability to cope, thrive and flourish in the face of adversity. 

The ability to cope with pressure, challenging times and uncertainty relies on developing particular thought patterns, attitudes and skills.

What I needed all those years ago wasn’t medical intervention.  What I needed was to look at my situation in a different way.  To take back the control of my career and to take action on what I could influence rather than worry over what I could not change.  

Add in plenty of sleep, exercise and healthy eating and all my symptoms disappeared almost overnight.

So if you want to boost your own inherent resilience to maximise your ability to bounce back, here’s what I would suggest.

1.  Accept change as part of life.  Resisting change is fruitless and tiring.  We need to not only accept change but also expect it to happen and then look for the opportunities that open up when it does.  Develop the habit of seeing each challenge as a catalyst for acquiring or mastering new skills and experiences. 

2.  Avoid making a drama out of your stresses and pressures.  Stress, pressure and uncertainty are all part of life.  The events of your life are not what shape you. It is how you choose to respond that has the biggest impact.    

3.  Choose optimism and take positive action.  Positive people are more resilient than those who are not.  Choose to focus on what is going well in your life and at work rather than the challenges, disappointments and setbacks. 

We are hard-wired as part of our survival instinct to pay more attention to the negative… but it is possible to switch your thoughts to see the opportunities that are available in almost every situation. 

4.  Look at the bigger picture.  Let go of your preoccupation with the pressures and deadlines you have directly in front of you and look at the bigger picture for your life and your career. Focusing on your longer term goals can add perspective to your situation. 

5.  Prioritise your health and wellbeing.  Your ability to deliver results at work is influenced by everything you do… including managing your physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. 

When you are tired and run down you can not give your best whether it is in meetings, staying productive and engaged or being present for your team members when they need your help.  Taking care of YOU is the foundation to building your resilience and your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

By learning to become more resilient you can bring a new power, direction and energy to your career.  By adopting a sense of optimism, focusing on what you can influence and taking care of your health and wellbeing, you can achieve greater success at work and find greater enjoyment in your life. 

 

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

3 Easy Steps To Be More Productive

3 Easy Steps To Be More Productive

How is it that we can be busy all day… but at the end of the day feel like we have achieved so little?  The problem lies in the fact that we are so often busy … but not overly productive! Just because you are stuck at your desk all day working through a long list of tasks does not necessarily equate to being productive.Being busy gives us the belief that we are working hard and makes us feel like we are contributing, while in fact we are spinning our wheels going no where fast.

When we are merely busy we tend to get caught up in and focus on things that we think are important and need to be done like responding to emails, attending endless meetings and mindlessly implementing time consuming, ineffective processes.

Being busy may make you appear impressive, and give you an elevated sense of importance, but of course it is nothing more than an illusion.  Being busy does not equate to producing results.  Most often, being busy gets in the way of achieving the results we are ultimately capable of.

Some people, maybe even you, wear their busyness like a badge of honor.  When asked, “how are you?” have you ever answered “busy!” When we respond in this way, I wonder, are we seeking praise, acknowledgement or sympathy?

To be more productive is something entirely different from being busy. 

Being productive is working smarter not harder.  It is about putting your energy where you will get the greatest return on your efforts.   It is having clear goals backed up with a workable strategy to meet your targets and investing in the activities that will get you to your outcome as quickly as possible.

Pareto’s Principle also known as the 80/20 rule, states that for many events, roughly 80% our effects come from 20% of the causes.

When we apply this to our role at work and as a leader, it looks a little like this;

  • 20% of our effort creates 80% of our results,
  • 20% of our customers generate 80% of our sales,
  • 20% of our team produce 80% of the innovation.

So believing this to be true, imagine the results we could achieve if we were to identify which 20% of our work created 80% of our results and spent more time and energy in this area!

Image the impact and influence you could have as a leader by focusing on what will really get you improved results.  And with the improved results comes more recognition, maximising the perceived value you bring to the team and ultimately… hopefully, a pay increase, promotion or opportunity to work on an exciting project.

3 Easy Steps To Becoming More Productive

1.  Review: Take a critical look at how you spend each day.  Record for at least a week how you spend each hour, then classify each task into one of the following categories

  1. Time waster or “busy work”
  2. Required important work with low to medium return
  3. Highly productive work with high return

2.  Identify: Identify the top 20% of activities that generate the highest return for you in terms of results.

Likewise, get brutally honest with yourself about what are your “time wasters,” and decide how you are going to best manage yourself around these.  This doesn’t necessarily mean eliminating them all together.  Some of our time wasters are what add spice and enjoyment to our workday.

3.  Act: Commit today to allocate more time and energy to these high return activities while eliminating or significantly limiting your engagement in “time wasting” activities.

I also find it helps to schedule the high impact activities into your day when you feel most alert and in a productive mood.  For me this is first thing in the morning.  So if this is you too…. resist the temptation to get lost in the mountains of emails you have waiting or engaging in chat on social media and get the important stuff done first!  And by morning coffee time you will be well on your way to a super productive day.

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Let Go Of Perfection

Let Go Of Perfection

It is human nature to want to be good at what we do and to have our efforts recognised by others.  It makes us feel worthwhile, valued and it leaves us with a proud sense of achievement. But if you feel like you have to do things perfectly and that near enough is absolutely not good enough, then you may be afflicted by the curse of perfectionism.

Striving for perfection is a recipe for failure.  Perfection quite simply can not be attained!  Not at work, not in our relationships, not in our home. 


At work, perfectionists are obsessed with producing their best
, often setting unattainable goals.  They take longer than most to get their work done while they focus on the tiny details and burying themselves in their quest for getting things right.  As a leader they tend to be unreasonably demanding.  They will often micromanage their team; unable to let go for fear of less than perfect outcomes. 

For all their diligence, perfectionists also tend to procrastinate.  They are fearful of not getting things right so avoid getting started.  They struggle to get their work finished given the high, unachievable standards they have set.

And the genuine support coming from both senior men and women from within organisations is increasingly positive.

Perfectionism goes way beyond being a high achiever.  High achievers tend to be pulled toward their goals by a desire to achieve, they enjoy pursuing the goal and are satisfied with something close to excellence, while perfectionists are driven to act out of fear of not reaching their goals and see anything less than perfect as a failure.

The need for perfection most likely stems from interactions with our parents, teachers and peers in our childhood.  Being praised for high grades at school, encouraged to do better and try our hardest or chastised for a slip in results.  It is not the comments themselves, but the interpretation of these interactions through the eyes of a child, that leads to perfectionistic habits and behaviours as an adult.

Many have a love hate relationship with their need to be perfect.  It fuels and drives them to achieve but backfires when they become overly critical of themselves and of others.  It can get them into trouble when they become so lost in the detail they fail to move forward at the pace required in todays workplace. 

Are you a perfectionist at work?  Do any of these resonate with you?

  • It takes you much longer than others to complete reports
  • You agonise over the phrasing in an email
  • You feel overwhelmed about getting started on a new project
  • You miss deadlines, preferring to wait until your work is 100% on the mark
  • You are constantly burning the midnight oil trying to stay on top of things, often missing out on family and personal time
  • You stew for days or even weeks over errors in your work
  • You get stuck in one task, trying to get it perfect and never moving to the next task

The cost of your perfectionism can be a reputation for being slow or unreliable. In todays fast paced work environment, highly productive people who get the job done in a quick timeframe, are who employers will think of for promotion or exciting projects.

But sometimes the biggest cost…. is the cost to health.  Research has shown that perfectionists are more prone to suffer from anxiety, stress and persistent fatigue.  Perfectionists tend to fear not being able to live up to their own standards or beat themselves up and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations are not met.

So do you see yourself in any of these scenarios?

Here are 3 Steps To Overcoming Your Habit of Perfection

1.  Recognise what your perfectionism is costing you.  Pain is a great motivator!  Identify what your perfectionist ways are costing you in terms of your career progress, your health, fun time with your family.

2.  Prioritise your most important tasks.  You most likely bring your perfection strategies to every area of you work.  In some areas of your work, your diligence and pursuit for excellence is a strength (eg: completing budgets, drafting board reports etc) while in other areas (emails to colleagues, weekly meeting agendas etc) your need for 100% is slowing you down, holding you back and quite possibly stressing you out.

Pick the top 5 tasks where your focus on detail is critical and allow yourself to pursue excellence in these priority areas.  For the rest, turn back the dial to 80 – 90%.  You may be surprised by how few people notice any difference in your effort.

3.  Set realistic Goals. “Good enough” is a term that strikes fear in most perfectionists but is a goal worth pursuing….. why? Because you are more likely to get the job done and on time! A reputation of poor productivity and failing to get work finished on time is a massive stumbling block for career progression.

Striving for high standards, of course can be beneficial.  But at some point it becomes debilitating and self-defeating.  You may feel a sense of control when you are doing things absolutely perfectly… while in fact your perfectionist ways are controlling you.  Letting go of these long held habits may take time but you will find it is well worth the effort.

Start today, by acknowledging what your perfectionist ways are costing you.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

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Here we were, witnessing history.

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