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If you’re beating yourself up – Stop it!

If you’re beating yourself up - Stop it!

So you’ve found yourself in that awful place where you realised you’ve not lived up to your high standards.  Perhaps you’ve made a critical error, missed an opportunity to present well in a senior executive meeting or failed to deliver a piece of work by the deadline.  

And if that’s happened, there’s a fair chance you’ve taken the slippery road down, spiralling into a pattern of speaking unkindly to yourself or putting yourself down.  Or is that just me????

I found myself in this exact place a few weeks ago. 

I had received some unexpected disappointing feedback.  Now let me just pause for a minute and let you know that I’d received LOTS of positive feedback in relation to this event – but of course my focus immediately zeroed in on the one piece of negative feedback. 

Have you ever done that?  Ignored the positives and focused on the negatives?

As a mid career professional woman who has big visions, expansive goals and is actively putting herself outside her comfort zone – you will not always execute perfectly.  

Things don’t always go to plan, when you’re in the ring, stepping up and constantly trying new things.  It’s a very normal part of growing as a leader and progressing your career. 

So I want to ask you…

Is putting yourself down and beating yourself up, positively serving you? Is it helping you to advance your career? 

The likely answer is, ‘no’.

Let me tell you – Nothing good comes from the habit of beating yourself up. It doesn’t make you a ‘better’ Leader, or stop you from making mistakes in the future (because we all make mistakes), it only makes you feel terrible, leads you down the dark path of self doubt and critical overanalysis, and robs you of your confidence. 

Yes, we need to acknowledge what we can do better because that is the way we build mastery.  But focusing on the negatives is nothing but self destructive.  

You may have noticed too that when you beat yourself up, it spills over into other areas of your life? Many women tell me that they lose sleep, stop caring for themselves, feel tension in their relationships, and second guess their skills and abilities.

So, what can you do if you notice that you’re beating yourself up?

1. Be aware.  

The first step is to notice when you start beating yourself up.  Only when we recognise and become aware of something, can we change it. Pay extra attention to how you’re feeling and talking to yourself.  Then commit to stop the pattern. 

2. Make amends.  

Consider if there is ONE action you could take to make amends. Perhaps you could offer an apology to someone, fix your error or invest some time and energy into upskilling.

3. Do things differently.  

When things don’t go to plan there is a temptation to become overwhelmed by EVERYTHING you need to do differently … and so end up doing nothing.  Pick just ONE thing to focus on to get a better outcome next time.  Would you prepare more? Be less of a perfectionist? Ask for support?

4. Recognise the positive learnings.  

Now – shift your focus from what didn’t go well to ALL the things that went well (I can guarantee you that there will be plenty!) When we’re stuck in a cycle of beating ourselves up, this shift of focus can feel challenging, but it’s oh-so-important. And it’s the quickest way to shift you out of the downward spiral you may find yourself in. 

5. Let it go.  

Now is your time to release what happened. Dwelling on it and continuing to put yourself down will not serve you going forward. Make the commitment to take your learnings with you and let. it. go.


I know it can feel hard to choose to respond to difficult situations in new ways, but believe me when I say that doing so will support you to step more fully into your role as a Leader, progress your career and be a role model to those around you.

If you’re someone who tends to beat herself up when things go wrong, I invite you to book in for a 1:1 Leadership Support Session here.

Together we will help you better understand your triggers, and identify tangible ways that you can change your self destructive cycle of puts downs and self-deprecation, and instead, step more fully into your most powerful and confident self.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

How to create a safe place for curiosity and innovation in your team

How to create a safe place for curiosity and innovation in your team.

In this transition period (which I believe will continue for a couple of years!) there will be lots of  change and uncertainty BUT our potential for creating long-lasting positive shifts during this time – to our workplace culture, systems and processes, the way we work, our relationship with innovation and experimentation – has never been more potent and achievable!

Right now YOU have an opportunity to have a say in shaping the new normal!

Does this make you as excited as it makes me?

One thing we know about change though, is that it’s not always easy.

When things have been done a certain way, unquestioned, for years (decades even!), it’s not uncommon for our cries for change to be met with resistance.

Which is why we can’t venture down this path alone.

Not only will great organisational change require you to step more boldly into your role as a Leader, you will need the support of an exceptional team who feel safe to communicate openly, explore new opportunities, take bold action, and make mistakes.

It’s only from this place of safety, that creativity and innovation can happen.

Here’s how you can begin to foster a sense of safety in your team:

One – Celebrate progress over perfection

If COVID-19 taught us anything, it’s that great change can happen, even when it’s executed with ‘imperfect’ action.

Let me explain …

When COVID hit, organisations were forced to act QUICKLY. There was no time for detailed planning and test piloting, they simply had to respond.

As a result of this, most organisations ended up working in ways that were once labelled as ‘impossible’ – aka, working from home and running meetings via Zoom!

Did these changes roll out ‘perfectly’ without glitches? No.

But did everyone adapt and learn as time passed? Absolutely!

The same goes now – we don’t need to be striving for perfection, but we do need to be moving forward and trying new and innovative ways of working. 

Encouraging progress over perfection creates a sense of safety among teams because people feel encouraged to be curious to experiment.

Two – Embrace and learn from mistakes

Much like celebrating progress and acting before you have a detailed plan in place, I encourage you to embrace and learn from any mistakes that are made along the way.

Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to work under the progressive mantra of “giving it a go and stumbling, is better than not giving it a go at all”?

It would completely revolutionise the way we work!

This kind of mantra builds safety, supports creative ideas to flow and fosters innovation and out-of-the-box thinking! 

It’s absolutely okay not to get things right the first time – all ‘failures’ give us wonderful lessons to learn from!

Three – Get your Executive team on board

When creating long lasting change, it’s important to get your Executive team on board.

Without their support, your efforts will feel like an uphill battle and any changes made won’t be sustainable. 

Sometimes this will be easy – but not always. 

Be patient and persistent, and trust that ‘planting seeds’ will help to shift things in time.

Will galvanising their support take courage? Absolutely! Especially in those organisations where change and innovation is less embraced.

I encourage you to simply plant the ideas, allow them to sprout, and then give your colleagues the time they need to catch up and get on board.

While they do, find the people you know are going to jump in and say ‘YES!’ quickly, and invest your energy there! 

You don’t need to be a Lone Ranger, and having a support team behind you will make the journey easier and more enjoyable.


Need support knowing how best to take the lead and create a safe space for curiosity and innovation in your team? 

You can book in for a Leadership Support Session here, and together we’ll create a tangible plan to move you forward courageously, strategically and in a way that honours and utilises your strengths. 

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Why You Need A Professional Support Team

Why You Need A Professional Support Team.

More than ever, we need to be creating our very own professional support team.

With job descriptions asking more of us, days being fuller, aspirations getting bigger, and for some, COVID-19 requiring us to work without our team by our side, we could all use a helping hand (or three!)

I want to take this opportunity to ask you …

Are you calling on the support of others?

Or, are you doing it all alone?

As fiercely independent and successful women, we’ve prided ourselves on how much we can do and what we can achieve on our own

But just because we can do things on our own, doesn’t mean we have to, or should.

In fact, working with and being supported by others lightens the load, allows us to shine in our zone of genius, progresses us further AND makes work feel more enjoyable!

If you identify as being a woman who tends to ‘fly solo’, I want to offer you three ways you can begin to create your professional support team, and get the helping hand you deserve, today.

Quit being a lone ranger.

If you were to take a guess, how many times a week do you fall into the trap of doing it yourself rather than delegating the task or asking for support?

Do you chair every meeting?

Are you the first to put your hand up to say yes?

Do you respond to emails that someone else could?

Do you hold the entire load of projects on your shoulders?

If you’re sitting there nodding your head, know that you’re not alone!

BUT, I want you to begin to notice when you’re trying to do everything on your own – because self awareness is the first step towards change!

While I have no doubt that you’re doing a great job, you don’t have to be a lone ranger.

Women are notoriously bad at asking for help – and on the flipside of this, notoriously good at doing a great job at doing it all.

But working this way isn’t sustainable, and it doesn’t get you seen as a highly competent leader.  

Consider:

Why do I choose to work as a lone ranger?

How is this harming me, my career and the development of my team?

Share the load and ask for help

In order to progress our careers, we have to share the load and ask for help.

You cannot have one without the other – not in the long run anyway!

Asking for support doesn’t make you incompetent or incapable. In fact it’s the complete opposite – asking for support is the sign of a great leader!

There’s two very important points I want to make here:

    • Sometimes as women we OVER FUNCTION which allows everyone around us to UNDER FUNCTION. This isn’t fair to you, or to them! We teach people how to treat us, what to expect of us, and what we expect of them. What message are you sending?
    • A key point of sharing the load and asking for help is accepting that others may not do things how you would – and this is okay! Different does NOT equal bad!

Want to dive more deeply into this topic of sharing the load? 

I wrote this article for you here!

Consider: 

What tasks and responsibilities am I doing that someone else could?

Who else in my team could lend a hand?

How is my tendency to do it all, a disservice to myself and others?

Know that you are worthy

The issue of worthiness comes up with many of the women I work with.

Feeling unworthy leads to them overworking, trying to do it all and being perfectionists.

I want to remind you that you ARE worthy. Simply by being yourself, you are intrinsically worthy.

You are worthy of recognition.

You are worthy of investing in yourself.

And most of all – you are worthy of having the very best support team around you!

Women who feel worthy aren’t afraid to ask to have their needs met and put their hand up for help.  

Whether it’s a cleaner to keep the house in order, a personal trainer to keep their body in shape, a mentor to stretch their thinking or a team of A players to carry the load – their support team is essential to their professional growth, success and sanity. 

They’re happier and healthier for it, and more successful because of it.

Consider: 

Do you feel worthy of being fully supported?

What type of support would be most beneficial right now to assist you to achieve your professional goals? 

I want to hear from you! 

Please pop on over to our free Facebook Group for mid career professional women, share your experience and join in the conversation! 

Let us be a powerful element of your professional support team!

See you in the group!

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Not Loving Your Work? This Could Be Why!

NOT LOVING YOUR WORK? THIS COULD BE WHY!

The average Australian spends 1831 hours working, every year! 1831 hours! (Source).

And if you are anything like the vast majority of the hard working professional women I help, your number is likely to be much more than this.

Work plays a huge role in our lives and to be frank, we spend way too many hours at work, for it not to be fulfilling. 

I truly believe that work can, and should, be enjoyable and rewarding!

Sadly though, many of the mid career professional women I meet, don’t feel this way about their work – instead, they feel unfulfilled, bored and undervalued. 

My experience has shown me that in order to love the job you’re in, it needs to meet three critical criteria:

1. It needs to support you to contribute in a meaningful way

2. It needs to offer you opportunities for growth (boredom can set in pretty quickly if you’re not being stretched and challenged!)

3. You need to feel respected and recognised for the great work you do.

When one or more of these elements are missing, work can feel hard, monotonous and unfulfilling. 

Let me give you an example of how this can play out in real life, and what you can do about it.

I recently spoke with a very talented woman who’d previously had lots of success in her role. When I asked her how she felt about her work now she said, “it sucks”

My heart always sinks when I hear work described this way.  It reminds me of a time when I pretty much disliked everything about my work too.  

But enough about me…

When we took a deeper look into why she was feeling this way about her work, we discovered that her need for growth – number 2 on the critical criteria list – wasn’t being met. She’d outgrown her job role and was no longer feeling stretched in her work. Because of this, she was feeling uninspired and unfulfilled. 

So here’s the thing… to grow we need to be doing work that stretches us and that means stepping outside your comfort zone.  Staying stuck, doing the same work week after week, month after month will after a time drive us just a little crazy.  

We are now working together to discover opportunities for growth.  The good news is – it doesn’t always mean you have to move jobs.  Very often all it takes is to tweak the way you are approaching the job you’re in.  It may be as simple as stepping up your focus as a leader or taking on a new more challenging project. 

I want you to ask yourself …

How do I currently feel about my work?

Is it fulfilling me? Is it enjoyable and rewarding?

If your work is no longer making you jump out of bed in anticipation of a great day, consider which of the three critical elements you’re missing.

1. Meaning and contribution. 

Are you hoping to find more meaning and to contribute in a more significant way?

2. Need for Growth.

Are you looking to be stretched and challenged and the opportunity for growth?

3. Respect and recognition.

Would a little more respect and recognition give you the lift you need?

Although work dissatisfaction can feel really uncomfortable, the great news is that it’s in your power to create change!

Once you’ve identified exactly why you’ve fallen out of love with your work, it’s easy to find a solution!


If you’d like some help to find your perfect pathway back to work fulfillment again, I’d be honoured to connect. 

You can book in for a Leadership Support Session here, and together we’ll create a tangible plan to support you to help you fall back in love with what you do.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Why Perfectionism is a Problem (and what to do about it!)

WHY PERFECTIONISM IS A PROBLEM (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!)

All of the mid career women leaders I meet want to do a great job. 

The trouble is, many of them think that a great job = a perfect job.

And while intentionally created, high quality work is a must, perfect work can do more harm than good.

Here’s how …

Striving for perfectionism creates stress and sucks the joy out of working.

Although having meticulous attention to detail is an asset, most perfectionists will tell you that they would actually prefer to not be so fixated on achieving a ‘perfect’ end goal. 

Why? 

Because rather than tasks and projects feeling like enjoyable creative endeavours, striving for perfectionism turns them into stressful, overwhelming and energy sucking to-do’s.

Not fun – and I truly believe that work should be enjoyable and rewarding!

You’re going round in circles, striving for an unattainable goal.

Judging something as ‘perfect’ is 100% subjective which ultimately means that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist! We are all unique humans, who have our own special perspectives, ideas and outlooks, and what you and your boss/colleagues/team label as ‘perfect’ will always be different. 

You’re never going to be able to please everyone … but if you’re striving for perfection, you may just send yourself crazy trying!

It slows you down. A LOT.

Most of the perfectionists I support admit to getting things done more slowly than they should. Not because they’re lazy, but because they’re investing so. much. time into getting every minute detail exactly right. 

It gives you a bad reputation.

Because perfectionists typically work slower, they have a tendency to not get things done on time. Sometimes, they don’t even get things finished at all! This isn’t a good look and it definitely isn’t going to get you seen (well, not for the right reasons anyway!)

As well as this, although perfectionists tend to look busy, they’re not actually being effective. Working effectively is what I call Queen Bee work, and it’s this work that gets women recognised and promoted for getting the work that matters out there in the world.

So, what to actually do about your perfectionism?

You switch your focus. 

My mantra is – PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION.

PROGRESS is what will move the dial on the work that matters and get you seen and celebrated for the incredible asset you are.

Progress looks like:

      • Putting clear project timelines in place, and sticking to them
      • Shifting your standards from 100% perfection to 80% excellence (for all but the most critical task like board reports!)
      • Coming back to the big organisational picture when perfectionism tries to rear it’s unhelpful head
      • Striving to produce great work, not perfect work (remember, it doesn’t exist!)
      • Speaking kindly to yourself (because perfectionism can say some pretty nasty things)
      • Seeing your projects as fun and enjoyable creative endeavours, not simply tasks to tick off a list
      • Asking for help if you need it! No-one expects you to be Super Woman, and teams are there to support one another!

More than anything though, I want you to ask yourself, “WHY do I strive for perfection?”

It’s all good and well to have strategies in place, but if you can get to the root cause and the WHY behind your perfectionism, these strategies are more likely to stick.

Keen to chat more about how to become a recovering perfectionist, by shifting your focus to progress over perfection? Come and join me in my free Facebook group for mid career professional women. Click here to join!

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Why You Need to Create Space to Think (Not Just Do)

WHY YOU NEED TO CREATE SPACE TO THINK (NOT JUST DO)

Leaders are paid to think, not just do.

In fact, thinking is what I like to call Queen Bee work, whereas when you are stuck deep in the doing… that’s Busy Bee work.  

Let me clarify further …

The Busy Bee is a ‘do-er’. She is often run off her feet with a jam-packed calendar that barely allows her room to breathe, let alone room to think strategically, take a ‘big picture’ focus and lead her team. She is juggling a million tasks and being busy, but not necessarily being productive.

The Queen Bee is a leader. She is working at a strategic level and bringing about high level improvement, change and growth to her organisation. She is focussed, intentional and highly effective. She is moving the business forward and being recognised for doing so. 

Thinking work – Queen Bee work – is the work that gets you recognised, rewarded and promoted (which I know is what you want!)

Yes, an innovative and effective workplace needs both thinkers AND do-ers – but it’s the thinkers that get seen, recognised for their high level visionary work and ultimately, paid more.

Do you feel stuck at the middle management level? 

If so, I want you to consider what you’re doing more of – doing or thinking?

As a society, we’ve been told that action steps and tangible outcomes are more worthwhile, which is why many women think that this is the kind of work they need to do in order to move-on-up in their organisation.

But it’s not!

While doing actions are important, your organisation cannot grow if it doesn’t have leaders at its helm who are thinking about the big picture. In fact, there are no successful businesses without leaders who lead. 

That’s where you come in!

I know it can feel ‘lazy’ and ‘time wasting’ to put an hour aside to think (it’s not by the way!) 

BUT trust me when I say that it’s in this space that your greatest ideas will come to you, and that it’s these ideas that will take you to the next level in your career journey.

The key is to start creating space to think and prioritise the work that requires you to think deeply, creatively or strategically. It’s time to get out of the endless cycle of doing. 

“So what does ‘thinking work’ actually look like on a practical level Jane?”

Great question! It looks like you:

    • Creating white space in your calendar to put on your leadership hat, get out of the doing rat race and see opportunities for change and expansion (I’ve written some great suggestions for how to do this here)
    • Surrounding yourself with other inspiring Queen Bees who are thinking strategically and coming up with transformational big picture ideas in their own workplaces
    • Seeking to solve problems, rather than simply offering short term band-aid solutions
    • Designing strategies that will more your corner of the business forward, rather than focussing solely on the present and getting caught up in the day-to-day
    • Mentoring and upskilling your team, so you can all expand, become A players and support one another (and therefore your workplace!) to rise.  You need your team to step up to allow you the space to think

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

5 Ways You Can Start Leading Your Way, Now.

5 WAYS YOU CAN START LEADING YOUR WAY, NOW.

As I shared in this article, the number one thing you need to do to be a great leader and advance your career in 2021, is to show your true self. 

Now, as great as this is for us ladies, my guess is that some of you are sitting at home thinking, ‘Yes Jane, but that’s easier said than done. How do I show more of my true self?’

Today I want to share 5 practical ways you can step more fully into your true self, so you can lead in a way that works for you (and therefore feels easy, elegant and enjoyable!)

Before I jump in though, I want to acknowledge the fact that stepping into your own leadership style, and leading your way, can sometimes feel uncomfortable and (let’s be honest) scary.

It takes courage to step outside the traditional leadership mold – even if it is outdated – and be ourselves.

It takes bravery to show up, instead of flying under the radar, and allow our colleagues and staff to get to know the real us. 

It takes guts to lead OUR way, and let go of the pressure we feel to be someone we’re not (like being assertive when that’s just not in our DNA!)

The simple fact that you’re here with me right now, reading these words, shows me just how great a leader you truly are. That you’re willing to embrace these challenges, so you can lead in a way that compliments who you truly are, rather than ticks the boxes of who you think you need to be, is cause for celebration.

Now, let’s get practical, shall we…

Here are 5 ways you can start leading your way – today!

1. Be you

I want you to repeat after me, ‘I am enough’. 

‘I AM ENOUGH’.

You are valuable, and you are who you are truly meant to be, just as you are. The more you can bring your true character into your workplace, the more people will be able to get to know you, like you and trust you. 

Do you have a quirky side? Let your team see it! Do your loved ones describe you as ‘real’ and ‘down to earth’? Let it shine through! The more YOU you can be, the better!

Consider: What makes you, you? How can you be more of your true self in your workplace?  

2. Model wisely

Having role models is very important as a leader BUT you need to choose the right ones for you.

Don’t just model the leader you report to, or your CEO – model the leader you look up to and whose leadership style resonates with how you want to lead. 

Consider: What leadership traits do you admire and respect?

3. Mix and match

Because everyone is different and no one role model will ever have all the traits we ourselves aspire to have, it helps to mix and match and have a number of people we can look up to.

Perhaps you admire how your Manager speaks up in meetings, or how your past employer would create space to think and reflect before she responded to a complex situation. 

Consider: Which 6 leaders do you look up to? What traits of theirs do you admire?

5. Have the courage to lead

It’s your time to really believe in yourself, step forward and take up more space in your workplace. No more hiding and no more dulling your light. So many opportunities will reveal themselves to you when you have the courage to be seen and lead.

Consider: How can you allow yourself to be seen more in your workplace?

6. Own it

Own your greatness, claim your space (in your workplace and in this world) and give yourself full permission to lead YOUR way. You deserve to lead, just as much as the next person. Now is your time! 

Consider: What are 5 of your greatest qualities as a human, and as a leader?


Ladies, no more being who you think you need to be in order to lead! It’s time to lead in a way that compliments who you truly are. 

P.S. Know that I’m over here cheering you on – and that constant cheering and encouragement is always available to you in our free Facebook Group. This group is specifically for mid career professional women. If that’s you – we’d love to have you join the conversation.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

The number 1 thing you need to do to be a great leader and advance your career in 2021

The number 1 thing you need to do to be a great leader and advance your career in 2021

Like most mid-career professional women, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that 2020 created huge disruptions and upheavals in your life.

Perhaps you went from working in the office, to working at home sharing a space with kids and other family members.

Maybe you had to increase your capacity to hold space for the complex emotions of your staff and colleagues? No doubt you had to support them to sit with uncertainty and fear too!

And it’s likely you had to step up, and be even more adaptable, strategic and forward thinking.

What made a great leader led prior to 2021, is likely to be vastly different to how your workplace needs you to lead now. What worked in the past simply won’t be the way going forward. 

Given this shift, here’s the NUMBER 1 thing you need to do to be a great leader, support your organisation to grow and progress your career in 2021.

Show more of your true self.

Do you feel like 2020 asked to take your mask off and be more yourself?

Times are changing and the women we thought we had to be in order to be seen, progress our careers and break through into our next level of leadership, impact and recognition, was thrown out the window.

As a leader in 2021, your workplace needs you to be more YOU, not who you think you need to be in order to get seen and succeed. In fact in 2021, being YOU is the key to fast tracking your professional progress!

Why? Because people are craving depth and more ‘realness’ in the workplace. 2020 brought everyone’s humanness to the forefront and now, people are needing and expecting this more than ever.

As well as this, being your true self by expressing emotions like vulnerability and authenticity are a must going forward. 

As I shared in this article, many corporate environments in the past, made us believe that emotions didn’t belong at work, and should be suppressed and pushed below the surface.

But this simply isn’t true – especially in 2021.

Emotions like vulnerability and authenticity are anything but weak, and they’re not inappropriate or something to be ashamed of. 

2020 was a watershed moment that woke everyone up and in this waking, the human side of leadership came to be encouraged, embraced and celebrated.

Now is your time to infuse more of YOU into your workplace, and step up as an empowered feminine leader who is comfortable expressing yourself openly, vulnerably and authentically.


As I share in Ignite – our 8 week group online program for mid career women, 2021 truly is your time to lead your way. 

No more feeling like a ‘square peg in a round hole’ in your workplace, and no more trying to emulate an out-of-date version of what a good leader was. 

What your career needs, in order for it to progress, and your organisation needs in order for it to grow, is for you to own your uniqueness and lead in a way that feels true to you.

Never has there been a better time to fully step into your feminine power and lead in a way that feels right for you! You’ve got this!

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

5 Rules You Need To Break.

5 Rules You Need To Break

We learn early on in life the rules we need to follow to stay safe, be liked and to get ahead. 

But many of the rules we learned growing up as little girls and young women were not designed to develop courageous leadership. Many of us were taught to be good girls, to play nice and work hard. These rules work well in the early years but, as you progress in your career and take on more of a leadership role, some of these rules will most certainly hold you back. 

So, here are my top 5 rules to break. 

 1. Saying yes all of the time. 

Saying NO creates the space to say YES to the perfect opportunities that come your way.  

In the beginning of your career, success is about saying yes to pretty much everything. But you cannot continue to say yes… you will end up burnt out or in a job you no longer love.  

There comes a time when you must focus your time and energy on the activities and tasks that will allow you to step up to the next level of leadership. 

 2. Waiting for permission. 

Most of us have been taught to follow instructions, stick to the plan we are given and to act like good girls. This rule was definitely made to be broken.  

Make the decision today to stop waiting for an invitation to lead. Go out and be seen for the leader you truly are. Make decisions, take action and lead from the front. 

3.  Needing the entire plan before you begin. 

Decide today to set a goal and take action. Do not wait to know every step for now. Do not wait until your plan is perfect to get started. Its only once you take the first step that the plan will unfold before you. And the beautiful thing is, the richest opportunities are hidden within the unexpected twists and turns that come after you get into momentum. 

 4. Not sharing what you think. 

Speak up and share your opinion and your ideas. Sitting silently through meetings will not serve you well. How can you be of influence or have an impact if you do not share your brilliance? 

Stop being afraid that not everyone will like what you say. You are not a leader if you are not sharing your thoughts and saying what you think. 

5. Fixing your weaknesses while ignoring your strengths. 

Throughout our early years there is a focus on fixing our weakness. For me that meant plenty of feedback and extra classes to overcome my struggles with spelling. (Clearly it didn’t work given this continues to be a major challenge!)  

Now is the time to switch your focus to your strengths and align your career with the type of work that comes easily to you and that you do best.   

Focusing on your strengths will bring way more joy, job satisfaction and allow you to achieve the results you are truly capable of. 

Which of these rules do you need to break today? Don’t wait for permission.  Just do it!

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston

Opportunity Is Knocking. Will You Answer The Call?

Opportunity Is Knocking.
Will You Answer The Call?

The time is now!

Opportunity is knocking for professional women. Ladies, our time is now. A change has been brewing over the last couple of years and now it’s knocking loudly on our door.

Do you feel it?

Women all over the world are refusing to play small and to stay silent. Over the last 12 months we have seen the power of change that comes from an engaged, energised and empowered collective of women.

From the global women’s march in early 2017, the #metoo movement and powerful image of the “Fearless Girl” on Wall St, we see issues that have long been ignored or hidden, become front page news.

Women everywhere are rising up and taking the “women’s movement” mainstream. No longer is this a women’s only conversation. Men are becoming more vocal and aware of gender issues and finding ways to be active as allies.

At a local level I’m seeing signs that businesses (large and small) are finally putting genuine effort towards creating more opportunities to support women to have a greater impact at the leadership table.

Women in my inner circle are being offered seriously impressive promotions and attracting significant pay rises. Their collaboration, negotiation, team building and problem solving skills are being called upon like never before.

And the genuine support coming from both senior men and women from within organisations is increasingly positive.

The conversations I’ve had with senior leaders recently have been heart felt and genuine in their desire to do better when supporting their high potential women … not because they have to but because they want to.

They know they have a pool of talented women who are hungry for growth and to contribute to their fullest potential. And they know the ripple effect supporting their high performing women will have throughout the business.

To say that I’m hopeful for what the future holds for professional women is a massive understatement.

Ladies … this is our moment.

Are you ready to step up with courage to embrace the opportunities I’m certain are poised to emerge for so many?

I’m not so naive to think that this will be easy. It will take work. It will require courage. It will mean taking a chance or two and have some faith in yourself and the people you bring into your inner circle to support you.

My question today is … are you with me?

Are you committed to do the work to be ready to take advantage of the opportunities that will no doubt open up? Do you have the courage to answer the call?

Here’s to being bold and having an impact beyond what was possible just a few short years ago.

LET'S CONNECT

Click below to…

Join “Leading Ladies” – a private FREE Facebook group of over 1600 other mid-career professional women to inspire and support
Join the newsletter list for weekly tips and strategies showing you how to ignite your career, lead your way and accelerate your success. 
Watch The Next Level Training to breakthrough to the next level of leadership, impact and recognition.  
Get my best tips on working smarter not harder 
Read my latest blog post.
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Contact my team.

Similar Blog Posts

From doing it all … to…

When you cast your mind back to when you first stepped into a leadership role, it’s possible you remember the feelings of excitement and pride, mixed with fear and trepidation.

What’s required to excel as an effective team member is different to what’s required of us as a leader. It involves a massive behavioural shift which, according to the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, also requires a corresponding shift in self-perception and identity

Jane Benston

My story, amplified

So, how did I come to be a women’s leadership coach?  

Like all good stories, the journey wasn’t all smooth sailing. I help women dig deep from a place not just of expertise but also from experience. I’ve felt that sense of career frustration and resentment. Let me tell you my story… 

Jane Benston

What the Queen taught me about…

As I sat on the couch this week watching the Queens funeral, I was transfixed by the pomp and ceremony of it all. There’s no doubt the Pom’s know how to create a sense of occasion.

Here we were, witnessing history.

Jane Benston